When ‘Honey’ Becomes A Cliché

When ‘Honey’ Becomes A Cliché

By: Bethlhem Teame

The newlyweds in my neighborhood address each other as ‘honey’. Their whole conversations is dotted and spiced with the word ‘honey’ and other terms of endearment.

In the morning the wife invites her husband for breakfast with “honey, breakfast is ready.” And there are so many countless honeys in between before the wife calls out to her husband in the evening, “Honey, don’t forget to lock the kitchen door behind you” and the husband replies, “yes hon, do you need anything else?” he inquires affectionately. If the word ‘honey’ was some kind of exhaustible word in the vocabulary of our world then the world would be in serious scarce of the word ‘honey’ because of these two.

Terms of endearment have become a must-know words in modern conversation and these terms have changed both in their vastness and meaning in today’s world. These days a lot of people use different endearment words when addressing a friend, a relative, a spouse or their significant other. Honey, sweetie, darling, dear, pumpkin, sweetie- pie, sugar, baby....the list goes on and every day the list of terms of endearment is getting lengthy and widely popular. Thus today it is expected of the chic populous to utilize as many endearment words as possible to fit in with the trend and modern lifestyle.

Terms of endearment are candy to the ear and have a special way of disarming even the seemingly cold and serious person to yielding into their powerful charm. These sweet nothings have a unique way of vibrating the strings of the heart and touching the very sensitive nerves of the listener of these words persuading them into submission. Accompany your words with an endearment word when you ask something and it usually provokes a positive reaction from the other end. The person on the other end (unless it is a robot) usually responds favorably upon hearing a word of endearment; thus endearment words are candy to the ear and sweet to the depth of a soul.

But truly what are terms of endearment for you? How do you use them? Is it out of habit or are you following the footsteps of the chic populous of the modern world?

Are these words expression of one’s love and feeling towards someone? Or are they words of convenience to you?

But these days endearment words are becoming so cliché that people often use endearment words while they carry a dragger in their heart, you can never tell what’s for real. For example the newlyweds in my neighborhood had a heated argument the other time and it was such a hilarious scene to witness and hear. Both sides were sugarcoating the intensity of their blow with words of endearment. “How many times must I tell you not to stay late, even if you were in your family’s house? Honey, you are a married woman and act like one,” said the husband clinching his mouth tight after saying each word; it seemed as if he was waging a war with his male-instinct induced actions and self-control. “Are you then suggesting that I cut all ties with my family, hon?” the wife inquired anger raising her voice beyond her usual calm and docile voice. One thing led to another and soon the neighbors all around were gathering around, eavesdropping on their fight- a fight one in its kind.

What made me crack into an uncontrollable burst of laughter was what the wife said amidst their heated and very much interesting form of fight when she blurt out, “don’t call me honey! Hon. I am not in the mood and calling me honey is not going to solve anything, hon.” Maybe she was too animatedly angry to realize that she too was using endearment words in each sentence she forwarded, her attack was spiced with the word ‘honey’ too but one thing was crystal clear and it was that ‘honey’ had become a cliché and some kind of cussing word in that house and for that married couple. Maybe with the passage of time the endearment words they used to address each other has lost its powerful magic to seduce and sway one’s senses and heart, its potion losing its amazing influence to lure the heart and has reached in a stage where it could be said without any attachment and feeling from deep within.

I am not saying that using words of endearment is the best and the only way of expressing one’s affection, on the contrary, actions are the best way of expressing affection but words of endearment are also constant reminders of someone’s affection towards others. On the other hand words of affection and terms of endearment could become just clichés and carry empty promises and superficial declaration of love. Just the other time, a friend of mine started suspecting her man of having an affair because he suddenly started showering her with terms of endearment; in her account her man is afraid of messing up the names of the girls in his life thus is using terms of endearment to avoid a slip of the tongue. One too many times, I have seen so many men using terms of endearment for the very reason of not messing up or confusing the names of the women in their life.

On the other hand terms of endearment could be considered as some kind of affection measurement in a certain relationship. There are a lot of people who consider terms of endearment as the best and effective way of expressing the feeling of the heart towards someone- be it a friend, a relative, a coworker, a spouse or their significant other. For instance a certain friend of mine started to doubt her man’s affection for her because he suddenly stopped using terms of endearment and started using her name. According to my friend’s account he started using her name in stead of calling her with all those endearment words he used to shower her with because his love for her isn’t burning as it used to.

My friend’s man stopped using these words though for another completely different reason than his suspicious girlfriend’s assumption - it came to him in an epiphany the beauty of her own name and the message it carries. My friend however sees terms of endearment as a gauge to measure the flame of their burning love.

If you come to think of it, hearing endearment words makes one feel great and brightens one mood. Using endearment words changes situations to the advantage of the user over the one in the other end through wheedling and it tones down escalating situations into normality. Thus it is advisable to possess the talent of flattering with delicacy in our modern world, whether these pleasing attentions proceed from the impulse of the moment, or are the result of previous study and calculation for the answer they yield is the same- it touches the heart and lure the senses into submission. But on at the same time one must understand that terms of endearments are not measurements of one’s affection or expression of the contents of the heart.

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